Today’s RoundUp is brought to you by the Lego version of the Lions’ lucky win over Australia [that’s all you’re getting – Drop Zone Anti-Egg Chasing Ed].
1. “Right. Poyet! Brighton! Get in here now. I’ve had enough of this nonsense!”
If there’s been a sorrier episode this summer than the Gus Poyet saga, then the Drop Zone can’t think of one. Well, other than the Joe Kinnear thing. And the Wayne Rooney thing. And Sepp Blatter. And Hearts going into administration. And Brazil’s World Cup preparations.
But if British football is currently scraping the barrel when it comes to salvaging a modicum of dignity or self-respect, it is nothing compared to the scraping which the cleaning staff were forced to do in the away dressing room at Brighton’s stadium before the 2nd leg of their playoff tie back in May. Last night, the Ballad of Gus Poyet came to a predictably shambolic end as the Brighton manager was told of his sacking by a producer on BBC’s Match of the Day.
“I think the BBC have a great story forever,” said Poyet, clearly oblivious to the furore surrounding The Voice Live Final. “A manager getting information that he is being released from his employment by the BBC is quite surprising. I have had no communication, no texts, no email.”
“No! No! Sir, that’s not even true!” replied Brighton. And if this story is indeed akin to two sobbing 6-year-olds in the headmaster’s office scrapping over who-said-what-to-who-first, the best response might be to not care, tell them “if you waste my time I’ll waste yours” and send them back into the playground. Sadly for anyone who likes football, Poyet plans to appeal. So good luck with that.
People may have fallen over themselves to see an ex-footballer with far more dire consequences earlier this week, but the furore surrounding Pep Guardiola’s arrival at Bayern Munich was impressive nonetheless.
Dignity was in here short supply here as well as Bayern bizarrely chose unveil the Spaniard by having a large fluffy bear present him with a bouqet of flowers like some bizarre hallucination.
“From day one, we got the impression Bayern wanted Pep and Pep wanted Bayern,” salivated chairman Karl-Heinz Rummenige before asking a PR flunkie for a towel.
3. “Sorry I called you thick and that, yeah. We all right? Nice one.”
After accusing Newcastle supporters of having less intelligence than his good self, Laughin’ Joe Kinnear today tried to make up for it by insisting that actually, the fans are just like him. Which, when you think about it, is not an apology but actually another vicious insult.
“They are like me up there, they appreciate hard work,” he sobbed. “At the end of the day I love the fans up there. I fell in love with them.
“None of the media liked what I said to them. But I tell you, I did not say one bad word about the fans.”
Brazilian legend turned socialist politican argues that even he has turned against the World Cup following mass protests in his native country.